So, you’ve met that special someone. I may not be love at first sight but he pursues you, you resist for some time not necessarily because you are not interested, although that is sometimes the case. You ”hangout” a couple of times. He makes you feel extra special, and then it happens, you start to develop feelings for him.
This is the beginning of a new romance. The two of you are inseparable. And then… after some time, things start to change. He stops doing all the nice things he used to do to ”get you”. You start to feel taken for granted but the love is still there. This is a normal part of being in a relationship right. This is just the way it goes. You adapt and carry on.
Then comes your first big trip together as a couple. You’re super excited. You do all sorts of research o the internet, watch a whole bunch of travel vlogs on Youtube and read a whole bunch of travel blogs. You start to count up the costs, accumulated credit card points like crazy so that you can redeem them to make the trip a little more affordable. You book the flight, the hotel, the excursions. You arrange for a car rental. You do it ALL. You can’t help but notice that he hasn’t offered once to help you with any of the planning. When you do ask his opinion he says ”I trust you Babe! Make all the arrangements you want”. Or, I’m not good at those sorts of things. You’re so much batter at planning than I am. You handle it.” You’re not too thrilled by his lack of involvement but you carry on planning because you want the trip to be absolutely perfect. By the time the trip rolls around, you are absolutely exhausted between all the planning, work and other daily responsibilities around the house.
You finally arrive on the trip and instead of being able to relax, you now have to give him a day by day run down on your itinerary because he is absolutely clueless as to what you’ve got planned.
You still give the trip your all because you are determined to make beautiful memories with this man, this man that you know has the potential to be so warm, loving and caring. And you do just that. You’re a bit annoyed but the lack of help for this special occasion but you sweep it under a rug and carry on. You have tons of fun and cuddling moments, water fights, covering each other on the sand, exploring sights you’ve never seen before, staring lovingly into each other’s eyes as you sit across from each other at dinner. All is right with the world. The man you fell in love with is back and the two of you are more in love than ever. This vacation was the very thing you needed.
You finally arrive back home and you bring back with you that honeymoon feeling. Your relationship is great again. You-are-so-in-love! And then one faithful day, he pops the question! You can not believe this is happening. This man wants to spend the rest of his life with ME!? You quickly say YES after a few tears, plant a huge kiss on his lips and give him a HUGE Hug!
So you’re engaged. You’re soon to be married. But you notice the monotony of life starts to creep back in. The honeymoon is once again over. Now you find yourself planning for a wedding. Once again, you ask for his opinion but to no avail. Now he says stuff like ”Oh, that’s woman’s stuff” or ”Pick whatever” or some variation of that. It’s like planning your trip all over again. You make excuses for him like you did the first time and say ”well, you know – he’s a guy. Guy’s aren’t really into this sort of stuff”. But I say – WAKE UP and open your eyes. These are signs of what’s to come. These are red flags. Women tend to ignore these things and chuck it up to, ”Oh, this is just the way men are” then when they get married and realize that it’s not going to get any better after marriage. If anything it gets WORSE.
Ladies! Stop making excuses for your man. If you see bad qualities/habits in him, address them. Do not sweep them under the carpet. This, my friends, isn’t just some story I made up. This is what one of my very close friends went through. She was planning a trip with her boyfriend in hopes of rekindling their romantic flame and he was completely uninvolved. Was it any surprise that he would do the same for the planning of their wedding and any other major event thereafter. Things like this are rarely an isolated incident. When someone shows you their true colors in one are, it usually trickles into other areas. Is it so far fetched to image that once they have kids that she’d be the one making all the necessary arrangements for the kids education, extracurricular activities, and other life events.
When selecting a life partner, choose someone who participates in all aspects of the life you are building together. Granted one person may have certain strengths where the other person is weak but that does not give them an out. At the very least show some level of interest. Ask questions. Be supportive. A relationship is a partnership and in every partnership, one must bring their A game to the table in order to make it work.
In business partnerships, each party must bring their A game to the table in order to achieve success. Same is true in a relationship. It too is a partnership. So ladies, please, do not ignore the warning signs. Talk to your partner. Let them know how you feel and how important it is for them to be involved. Marriage
Marriage is supposed to be forever, so enter into it with your eyes wide open if you hope to live a happy life.
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